This post is a continuation of the series "India Trip". I have written this post over a period of several weeks so if there is any discontinuity in the flow of things or any change of style and language please bear with me.

Turning 60 is a social-religious event in India, especially in South India. When a man or woman turns 60 a sacred Vedic celebration called Shashtiabdapoorthi is performed - shashti meaning 60 years, abdam the year and poorthi signifying the completion of 60 years in a person’s lifetime. Rituals and mantras mark the event and a ‘remarriage’ of the couple is performed.

According to the Vedas, at 60 a man has reached the halfway mark of his actual span of life, which is 120 years. And according to Hindu numerology, six is not a favourable number and 60 is a point in life when the ruling planet of a person may have an adverse effect on his life. The person performs a religious shanti, mainly to invoke peace, ensure good health, and longevity. There is a similar ceremony, too, when a woman turns 60.


Veda Parayanam
At about 7.15 am on Monday morning the chief vadyar along with an assistant arrived to start the Veda Parayanam. The stage had already been set prior to his arrival. Two manai's (wooden seating) had already been laid - one for appa and one for amma. A nice kolam had been drawn in front of it. All the items from the list the vadyar had given a few days earlier had been bought and kept. All the money to be given during the ceremony had been sealed in envelopes and labelled for easy disposition.

The first thing he did was place bricks to create a platform for the avapasanakal. Then he created another platform with rice for keeping the kodam. He asked for a few more things and set it beside himself. Then he and his assistant started telling mantras with my dad repeating after him. In the process they placed a kodam on the rice platform and wrapped the kodam with vastram. Then it was time for filling the kodam with water. This ritual is to be done by two ladies and my mom and sis shared the responsibility. In the mean time, the other vadyars were arriving.

I have always heard that there is a particular significance to every act that is performed during any ritual. This time I wanted to find out a few of them. What I found I have tried to summarize under the title - Significance. Please excuse me if this interrupts the flow.

Significance: The kodam that is placed on the rice is like God Himself. The rice platform acts like a throne for him. The wrapping of the kodam with a vastram, thus, signifies the clothing of Him. The water that is held in the kodam is very holy for the same reason.

After all the vadyars, around 8 of them, had arrived the chief vadyar brought them together and divided the responsibility of the chanting of vedas between them. 2 people formed a group and they were to chant one portion of the vedas. As soon as the work was divided, each group occupied a particular part of the living room and started chanting. During the chanting my dad was also sitting on the manai and holding a darbai in his hand. One end of the darbai was in my dad's hand and the other was touching the kodam.

The house was filled with the melody of the vedas and I just cannot explain the bliss I felt at the sound of the beautiful hymns. I did not understand the meaning nor was it sung to a particular raga or tune but there was a particular melody in it that livened all my senses and I was feeling ecstatic.

Significance: The darbai held by my dad is touching the kodam. The idea here is that the power of the vedas which is being chanted is being transferred through this connection to the water in the kodam. As a result of this the water in the kodam is becoming very powerful and holy.

8 people were called upon to chant the vedas. There is also an order to this. It is not possible to randomly divide work. If I remember right, there is what are called Kandas or Chapters and each group is assigned a few Kandas. The last Kanda is recited together. It usually takes a few hours to recite one Kanda and since we had to finish the chanting in 1 day the division of labour is necessary. If a single person were to chant the veda all by himself Chapter after Chapter then it would take 2 - 3 days for reciting the entire Vedas. So the Vadyar count is based on how many days you want to have Veda Parayanam.

We placed some krambu and kalkund next to each group. The vadyar's used to chew on these to keep their mouth from becoming dry.

At around 11.00 am, the group stopped for lunch. After lunch, a small siesta and "Adigirar Kannan", they resumed chanting at around 1.00 pm. They were soon done with the chanting at around 2.30 pm. Now it was time to shower the holy water in the kodam on my parents. So, accordingly, the manai's were moved outside and my parents took their seats on it. Then my thatha's and the chief vadyar poured the water from the kodam onto my parents.

Significance: The water collected in the kodam has been now strengthened by the vedas and is even more holy, powerful and all healing. So by showering it onto my parents it is like transferring the power and strength to them. A little water is left behind for others too.

With this the morning session is over.

Shanthi Homam
The homam started at 6.00 pm. Once again the kodam was placed on the rice platform and clothed. Then water was poured into it. This time this was done by my aunt and patti. There were only 4- 5 vadyars this time and they began chanting mantras with my dad repeating after them or atleast trying to repeat after them.

This session has to be done before the main event, which was conducted the next day. It could have been done early the next day before the main event but that means starting as early as 5.30 - 6.00. So, for the sake of convenience it was done the previous evening.


Muhurtham 7.30 a.m - 9.00 a.m

Nalangu:At about 5.45 a.m my Aunt arrived at home to do Nalangu for my parents. She applied chandanam and kumkum paste on the legs and then kept oil on the head.

The Chief Vadyar arrived around 7.00 am to begin the morning festivities. This time the kodam from the previous nite was already in place and he soon started the homam along with his other assistants. This time there were about 6 of them. It was once again a wonderful sight to see all the vadyars neatly sitting around the homam and chanting their slokas in unison and pouring the ghee into the holy fire with their swahas.

After a while, it was time for showering the water in the kodam on my parents again. So, just like the previous evening, my parents sat on their manai's and my thatha's and the vadyar showered them with the water. Once this was over, my parents went on to change and my mom had to wear the nine yards saree that had been bought by her parents ie. my thatha and patti.

Once they returned, there was more homam and japam. Some of the events that followed were very similar to that conducted the previous day but there were a few other things that were new. What I have written below is the other new and interesting things that followed.

Kannadi la pakardhu: This is a ritual which is done to remove drishti. In this ritual, both appa and amma held a mirror, presented by the vadyar, together and saw themselves in it. Once done, the kannadi is offered to a Brahman.

Yennai la pakardhu: This is yet another ritual similar to kannadi la pakkardhu for removing drishti. In this, once again, my appa and amma saw themselves in a small vannai that had yennai in it. Here again, the yennai is offered to a Brahman.

Nava danyam: This, I think, is also for dhrishti. In this, each graham of navagraha is prayed upon and then a danyam or offering is done for each graham. Each graham has a respective color associated with it and also there are specifications as to what to offer each graham, like yellu, rice, etc etc. So before the onset of this ritual, the danyams, along with a small monetary token, are placed on the colored cloth representing each graham. Then prayers and slokas are chanted and then the cloth along with the danyam is offered to a Brahman.

Significance: When each of the items that I mentioned above are offered to a Brahman, it signifies that you are transferring the dhristi on to that Brahman. The Brahman then rids himself of this extra dhristi by doing puja, prayers etc. So, typically some of the vadyar's assistants who live by chanting vedas or doing pujas accept the offering. This is because, since they are in touch with God everday they can get rid of the dhristi faster. But, here again, there are certain grahams that most Brahmans will not accept. I dont remember exactly, but I think it is Shaneeshwara Bhagavan, whose danyam most Brahmans refuse to accept. This is because it has more Shakthi and so more dhrishti transfer. Also, in order to appease such grahams and make the acceptance by the Brahman more favorable, the monetary tokens placed on the danyam to such grahams is more.

Mangalya Dhanam: This is the main event of the day, where Appa tied the Managalyam to Amma. I was very excited and happy to see the marriage of my own parents. It was really a thrilling and amazing moment that I will never forget. As usual, the third knot was tied by the Nathanar.

Something I learned was that, Mangalya Dhanam is of little significance in the marriage ritual. Though it is believed that once Mangalya Dhanam is over, then the man and woman are husband wife, it is not really true. The tying of the Mangalyam is only a small step in pronouncing the man and woman husband wife. This is why, typically, when the Mangalya Dhanam is over, the vadyar's and others will ask the people wanting to congratulate the couple and get rid of their gifts to wait because the marriage is not over and the man and woman are not yet husband wife. Ideally, only after the holy 7 rounds around the fire, do the man and woman become husband and wife. Theoretically, you are not married until those steps around the fire. So, if you or any other person wants to oppose the marriage it can be done before these steps. You can walk away after Mangalya Dhanam because you are not yet technically married but you cannot walk away after circling the fire because by then you are Married.

What I said above, I think does not hold true for the Shastiabdapoorthi marriage because I dont recollect my parents circling the fire. Once the Mangalya Dhanam was over, there were a few more prayers offered and then everybody approached my parents to congratulate them.

All people younger to my parents took their blessings and my parents took the blessings of their elders. Then gifts were exchanged and soon people started walking to the dining area for lunch.

It was nearly noon by the time all the people had left and it was just a few close ones and we who were left. All of us were happy that things had gone well and the function had been nicely done.

This is the second part in the series "India Trip".

"It is my Father's Shasthiabdapoorti ( Sixtieth B'day). We have organized a small function at home on April 18th and 19th. April 18th we are having Veda Parayanam ( chanting of vedas) in the morning followed by Udaga Shanthi in the evening. The main event is on April 19th and Muhurtham is between 7.30 a.m and 9.00 am. Please grace the occasion and bless the couple".

This is how me and my sis had to invite our family and friends to my Father's Sixtieth B'day function. I had to present akshathai (holy rice) to the men and invite them and my sis had to present kumkum to the women and invite them.

So me and my sis set out with akshathai and kumkum to invite our rels. We met all of them and after answering their questions, of "How is US?" "How is work?" "You have become thin...are you not eating ? " etc etc, we did the invitation part. It was funny or I should say awkward to formally invite some of our near and dear ones. Wont it be enough if we just said "Hi...you know whatz happening ...so be there!!". My parents didnt think so and so without complaining I obeyed.

As in any other function we have to buy sarees and dhotis and other gifts for the close family and friends attending the function. Why do we have to do this? Because it has been done for centuries ; Because it is expected ; Because you are receiving so you better give too ; Well, actually, I really dont know.

So here we are at RASI, Nalli and other such stores shopping for sarees and dhotis. My mom has a count of how many sarees and dhotis she needs to buy. As usual buying the dhotis takes 10 minutes but for the sarees it takes 10 hours. Amma buys a few sarees at one store and then visits an other store to buy a few more. Apparently, she did not like the ones she saw in the previous shop. This keeps going for a while after which she says I am done. I heave a sigh of relief under the assumption that we are now going to go home. But I was mistaken.

"Ippo ithuku matching blouses vanganum da" says Amma.

"Oh no!!! "

And here we are once again going up and down shops trying to find matching blouses for the already bought sarees. I am happy to learn that some of the sarees already have attached blouses.

Very soon, after a few more hours, we are done and we head back home. I am exhausted and bored and as soon as I reach home I switch on the TV and start flipping throught the channels. But my mother shows no signs of fatigue!!! As soon as we walk in with our shopping bag of sarees and blouses and dhotis she walks into the kitchen to make some tea. Once tea time is over she heads back to the heap of shopping bags and starts looking at the sarees all over again, this time analyzing even more carefully her selection and occasionally complaining about some minute aspect which only women can understand. I just keep flipping through the channels with the occasional nods and "yeah". An hour later my mom is asleep next to the shopping bags.

That night me and my sis bagged and labelled the items based on to whom they were being given to. This is such that it is easier during the day of the function to identify each saree/dhoti wrt their prospective owners.

It is Sunday and there is just a day left. The agenda for today is to move all the furniture from the living room into the garage, clean the house and then decorate it for the function tomorrow. At around 10.00 a.m V and D arrive to help us in moving and cleaning. I tell them what needs to be done and they work swiftly.

Later that evening we tie mava yelai (mango leaves) to the entrance of our home and decorate it with a nice rangoli. The house now looks ready for the 2 days of festivities. So are we.

There are so many things that I want to write about my trip to India that I realized that a single blog is not enough. So I have decided to write it as a series of blogs. What follows is the first part in the series.

I arrive in Chennai by Singapore Air on April 11th at around 10.30 p.m. Without much ado, I clear immigration and customs and walk out of Anna International Airport. I am immediately greeted by the Chennai humidity, the smell of Chennai, the sound of constant chatter, of colorful saris and salwars and by the eager eyes of so many parents, sisters, brothers, children, friends and others who are looking anxiously in the crowd of passengers that are exitting the airport to see if the person who is walking out is one of their own. The one whom they have been waiting for hours, months or may be years.

I start searching this crowd for three such pair of eyes - my mom's, dad's and sis'. I find them immediately to my right which is where I expected to find them because that is the closest one can stand to the exit. I also find my driver in, yet again, his usual spot waiting to snatch the luggage from my hands and load it into the car. I get into the car along with the others and I start home ready to begin my vacation.

The first thing that I notice as soon as we start driving back is the chaotic yet systematic traffic on the roads. This time I dont panic as much as I did last time when my driver is not driving in the center of the lane. I try not to focus my attention on the autos and PTC buses that are zipping past us about an inch away from our car and who at any time can turn left, right or halt without any warning.

We soon reach home and I am happy to step into my home. I remove my shoes knowing that I wont see them for another few weeks. I then wash my feet and go to the Puja Room to thank God for the safe flight and for everything else. After that we sit down to talk.

After an hour of talking, more of an interrogation than talking, about how my flight was, if I slept well on the flight, what have I been doing etc. etc. I open my suitcases, each weighing 32 kgs, to give them the presents I had bought for them. My sis is very happy with her new handbag and earrings and she has already walked into her dream world. She is scanning her mental repository of saris, churis and necklaces matching them with the new ear rings thinking about which would go with what and how many more new churis she has to buy to match the ear rings. My mom is happy with the perfume I got her and she starts analyzing the hand bag and earrings. My dad is content with the shirts I bought for him and he starts looking at the other gifts I had bought and starts asking me the usual questions about the gifts.

It is always hard to buy gifts for guys/men. I envy girls in this regard. They have so much variety to choose from and there are so many giftable items that can be given to them. But men! We are stuck with just pants that come in only 4 colors, shirts that have only 2 designs, razors, shave gel and thatz it. That is not fair.

Anyways, it is nearly 1.00 am now and we are all very tired and soon go to bed.

Next day morning I get up at 7.00 a.m. My sis has already left for work, my dad is out in the garden plucking flowers for offering to God and my mom has just started cooking. Guess whatz on the menu? Of course it is all my favorites. As soon as I walk into the kitchen she asks me why I am up so early and starts making coffee for me. She starts complaining that I have lost weight and attributes it to the fact that I am eating my own cooking inspite of me trying to explain to her that that is not the reason. She, of course, does not pay heed to my words and keeps talking. She tells me how she is going to make me put on weight and what she plans to cook for me today, tomorrow and for the whole 3 weeks that I am going to be here. My father soon arrives and we start talking about my work and the preparations that need to be done for the function next week.